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Break-up Recovery Guide

Six steps to help you move forward.

The dissolution of an intimate partnership is a major life change. We often put so much of ourselves into a relationship, that we become very saddened or confused when it ends. Whether you are the one who decided to move on or your mate broke things off with you, there are things you can do to benefit from the transition. When we face any challenge in life, we have to make a choice between defeat or empowerment.

Experiment with these steps for moving forward to a better future.

1. Nurture yourself and make self-care a priority. Break-ups can be unsettling, so creating balance in mind, body and spirit is essential. For example, you could take a hike in nature or enjoy a fragrant bubble bath. Watch a comedy or get some much needed rest. Connect with people who will lift you up. Browse the self-help shelves at your local book store for titles that resonate with your situation. Use this time to do things that make you happy.

2. Assess your emotional state. Our emotional guidance systems are providing us with useful information, but we don't always interpret the signals correctly. For example, if you say to yourself, "I am such a loser," you will feel a painful emotion. You might think that the reason you feel horrible is that you are loser. That is an incorrect assumption. The painful emotional signal is telling you, "Stop. That is not the truth of Who You Are." When you say, "I am worthy of love," your guidance will respond with a pleasant emotion that indicates, "True. You are on the right track."

3. Talk it out. If you are struggling with painful emotions, seek out the support of a qualified therapist or intuitive counselor. You might want to share your feelings with one or two trusted friends, but avoid talking about your ex to everyone who will listen. Your goal is to release painful emotions and memories through discussion, not to gossip about your ex. If you still have things you want to get off your chest, try writing down your thoughts. Then safely burn the paper, symbolizing your readiness to move on.

4. Do your inner work. Review the relationship dynamics and decide what you would like to do differently next time. There may be a temptation to blame the break-up entirely on the other person. However, looking truthfully at your role will help you make better decisions in the future. This step is not about placing blame - that is a lower vibrational choice. It is about accepting personal responsibility and making changes to keep up with your soul's desire for evolution.

5. Find some benefit from the relationship. Think back on the good times and be grateful for those experiences. It is possible to find benefit from the bad times as well. Hardships can be catalysts for positive change. For example, if your mate was unfaithful, those circumstances created a strong desire within you to attract a loyal partner. Shifting your thoughts and energy into the desired direction will yield those results. Take this opportunity to raise the bar and set boundaries that your next mate will respect.

6. Move forward with optimism. This sounds easier said than done if your break-up was messy, but what other options do you have? Carrying around a "ball and chain" of painful memories is not going to get you where you want to be. True freedom comes with forgiveness. This break-up brought you one step closer to successfully finding your ideal mate. New beginnings can be happy and exciting, full of hope and potential for something better.

Wishing you hope, love and inner peace…

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